Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy

Author: Patty Hone

Your period is late and you start to think maybe you might be

pregnant. Maybe you are afraid to go take a test because you

don't want to find out the results. You may be asking yourself

"how could this happen"? If you find yourself pregnant with an

unplanned pregnancy all kinds of emotions may run through your

mind. Perhaps you are secretly excited about this but scared to

tell your husband. Maybe you are not married and scared about

facing motherhood alone. Maybe you do not want any more children

and the prospect of having another baby is the worst thing you

could imagine right now. There are many scenarios that lead up

to unplanned pregnancies. Mistakes in judgment happen, condoms

break, birth control pills fail, even tubal ligations and

vasectomies fail.

Once you get over the initial shock of finding out that you are

pregnant you will have some tough decisions to face. Do you want

to carry this pregnancy, how are you going to tell your friends

and family, how are you going to handle the emotions and

pressures that people will put on you. The first thing you

should do is try not to panic. Although this may seem like an

extreme emergency, in reality you have time to make a decision.

Try to take some time to collect yourself and think about your

options. You will not be the first mom to not be excited about

the news of a new baby. Try not to beat yourself up. Take

responsibility for your actions but wallowing in guilt is not

going to help the situation. Before you talk to anyone about

your decision take some time to decide what you want to do. If

you want to keep this baby, have an abortion, or consider an

adoption that is your decision and talking to someone about the

situation may cloud your judgment. Yes your partner should

probably be involved in the decision-making, ultimately; you are

the one that is going to have to live with your choices. Try to

make some plans in your head for what you would like to do

before you talk to anyone.

After you have had time to think about things and to collect

yourself, you may want to get some counsel from friends, family

or maybe a minister. Find someone that you know will be

supportive of your decision to confide in. You need to have

support during this time. You don't want to be surrounded by

people that are going to beat you down for your mistake or

pressure you into doing what they want. Surround yourself with a

support group. If you have no one to turn to you can seek help

from support groups geared for this situation. If you do not

plan to have an abortion, you may want to steer away from groups

that endorse this and perhaps find a faith based support group.

Eventually you are going to have to tell some people. You don't

have to tell everyone and you can tell people about this in your

own time. Your partner may not be the first person you want to

tell and that's okay. When you are ready find a time to sit down

and talk to him. The longer you go without telling him the

harder it will be. Sometimes it is easier to tell him earlier

and let him adjust to the situation than it is to wait and have

him angry for not telling him sooner. Either way if you think

that he will be unhappy it is going to be hard to tell him the

news. Prepare yourself for the reactions and when you are ready

just tell him. There are no right words to say. Try to avoid

blaming or taking the blame. This situation doesn't happen with

only one person involved. It is not all your fault or all his

fault. It is a shared responsibility that the two of you will

have to deal with.

If your partner, friends and family are not initially supportive

that's okay. It is not their life or their pregnancy. They are

not the ones who have to live with your decision. You are. Try

not to let unwanted comments get to you. You can use humor to

lighten the mood. If you are excited about this and they are

not, then share your excitement. You can use I statements to let

them know how you feel. If others fail to respect your decision

and do not have anything positive to offer, you might want to

simply explain that the discussion is off limits and refuse to

talk about it with them. Whatever your choice may be, in the end

it is your decision.

When reprinting this article on a website, please provide a

clickcable link back to www.justmommies.com

About the author:

Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also the

owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community for

mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit

Justmommies at http://www.justmommies.com

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Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy

Article : Coping With an Unplanned Pregnancy