Helping a Friend Through a Miscarriage

Author: Patty Hone

When you have a friend that has had a miscarriage there is a

lot you can do to help her. Many times we are afraid to say

anything because we don't want to say the wrong thing but not

saying anything at all can be just as bad. So what should you

say and what shouldn't you say. I have had three miscarriages

myself and have heard a lot of things that were just not the

right things to say. I have put together a list of things you

can say and things you probably shouldn't. Please be gentle with

your friends that are coping with miscarriage. They need your

support. Things you should say.



Do call her and tell her you are sorry for her loss. Do send her

a card or flowers to show you care Do let her talk as much as

she needs to or wants to. Do give her a hug to let her know you

care. Do offer to help with housework, babysitting or other

things that she may not feel up to doing. Do acknowledge her

baby. It is okay to say I don't know what to say or I don't know

how to help. Do call and check up on her. The pain does not go

away in a couple days. Give her extra attention. She needs to

feel like other people care about what she is going through. Do

ask if she wants to talk about it.



Things you should not say.



It was probably for the best. At least it happened early in the

pregnancy before you really got attached. It was God's will I

understand how you feel. Even if you have had more than one

miscarriage, you may not know how she is feeling. It was only

one miscarriage. I know a friend that had such and such

miscarriages and she has children now. It was nature's way of

getting rid of defective chromosomes. At least you have one

child I don't understand why you are so upset. Maybe you should

consider adoption, not having children. Don't not talk about it.

Don't avoid her. Don't try to cheer her up. She probably doesn't

want to be cheered up and by doing this you are not

acknowledging her pain.



About the author:

Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also the

owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community for

mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit

Justmommies at http://www.justmommies.com

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