Helping a Friend Through a Miscarriage
Article : Helping a Friend Through a Miscarriage
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Author: Patty Hone
When you have a friend that has had a miscarriage there is a
lot you can do to help her. Many times we are afraid to say
anything because we don't want to say the wrong thing but not
saying anything at all can be just as bad. So what should you
say and what shouldn't you say. I have had three miscarriages
myself and have heard a lot of things that were just not the
right things to say. I have put together a list of things you
can say and things you probably shouldn't. Please be gentle with
your friends that are coping with miscarriage. They need your
support. Things you should say.
Do call her and tell her you are sorry for her loss. Do send her
a card or flowers to show you care Do let her talk as much as
she needs to or wants to. Do give her a hug to let her know you
care. Do offer to help with housework, babysitting or other
things that she may not feel up to doing. Do acknowledge her
baby. It is okay to say I don't know what to say or I don't know
how to help. Do call and check up on her. The pain does not go
away in a couple days. Give her extra attention. She needs to
feel like other people care about what she is going through. Do
ask if she wants to talk about it.
Things you should not say.
It was probably for the best. At least it happened early in the
pregnancy before you really got attached. It was God's will I
understand how you feel. Even if you have had more than one
miscarriage, you may not know how she is feeling. It was only
one miscarriage. I know a friend that had such and such
miscarriages and she has children now. It was nature's way of
getting rid of defective chromosomes. At least you have one
child I don't understand why you are so upset. Maybe you should
consider adoption, not having children. Don't not talk about it.
Don't avoid her. Don't try to cheer her up. She probably doesn't
want to be cheered up and by doing this you are not
acknowledging her pain.
About the author:
Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also the
owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community for
mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit
Justmommies at http://www.justmommies.com
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