Mommy Come Home

Author: Lisa M. Hendey

Author Interview: Mommy Come Home The New Trend to Tradition:

Bringing Up Your Own Interview with Sandra Gillmore conducted by

Lisa Hendey

In her new book Mommy Come Home, author Sandra Gillmore strongly

advocates the role of "full-time motherhood". Some may disagree

with the book's premise that mother should eschew career and

stay home with children (in lieu of day care or even dad or a

relative providing in home care). I found the value of this book

to be for readers who have chosen the "stay at home" route and

are seeking support and encouragement in this decision. Sandra

Gillmore shares a veteran's experience and perspective and has

so many wonderful tips and suggestions to share. Women choosing

to voluntarily walk away from careers to pursue the vocation of

motherhood are often met with resistance, financial concerns and

a lack of support. A new mother may find herself isolated and

uncertain as she attempts to ascertain her new identity in life.

Mommy Come Home is a great tool for women facing or considering

such transitions. Sandra Gillmore gives readers many pearls of

wisdom to aid them in the journey of parenthood.

LH: Sandra Gillmore, author of Mommy Come Home, thanks for your

time and for participating in this Book Spotlight feature. Could

you please tell our readers a little bit about your background

and your family?

As a single person, I worked in various office positions, and

prayed for the Lord to send me a devoted Christian husband. God

powerfully answered my prayers to the point that I wrote a song

for Dave entitled, "You are the Answer to My Prayers." Dave and

I have been married for 20 years and we have been blessed with

ten children, ages 19 down to 1 year in age. We both shared the

vision for a large family and grew into the homeschool

lifestyle. Over the years we've opened our home to exchange

students, foreign refugees, college renters and the mentally

ill. Currently our quiver is full of our own family members! Our

children are very active in sports, music and scouts. I get

involved with fundraisers and love to cheer them on in their

activities. I enjoy singing for church which occasionally

includes weddings and funerals. LH: Sandra, what is the main

message of Mommy Come Home and what prompted you to write the

book?

Mommy, Come Home is my love letter to all moms! I've heard you

stress-out on the soccer fields. I've seen you cry at church

from the pressure. You told me I was lucky I could stay home.

I've tried to console you through the rat race. I've prayed for

you. But I never wanted to hurt your feelings. I never had the

courage to tell you what was on my heart through the Holy

Spirit's leading. The message of Mommy, Come Home is that God is

calling each mother to embrace her vocation to motherhood. This

is your call that no one else can replace as God intended. (Not

even grandma or daddy.) You have been given special gifts to

share with your children in a most generous way. This world is

not family-centered. The world wants to pull you away and make

you too busy to effectively mother your children. Picture

yourself ordering your favorite dessert in a restaurant only to

have the waiter bring you one small bite! Wouldn't you want

more? 'But it's the highest quality of this dessert on the

market, 'the waiter tells you. Our children want and need more -

not more stuff - more of our time. There is a way out of this

madness. You have a choice. LH: For families who have become

reliant upon two incomes, can you offer some creative

suggestions to help ease the financial transition when Mom

decides to stay home full time with the children. By

eliminating, in large part, the extraneous expenses of working

outside the home (such as more gas, wear and tear on your

vehicles, or even the need for an additional vehicle, business

attire, fast food, childcare) and adding an enormous tool called

flexibility to your schedule, you will be set up for a new way

of thinking and spending. The focus is on saving instead of

earning. Simplicity is the key. Try asking yourself, 'Is this a

need or a want?' whether it's a new home, car or a toothbrush.

(i.e.: do you really need the $5 variety or will the 88 cent

version do the job?) Try drinking filtered water (from your own

filter if possible.) Milk, juice and soda are quite costly and

don't offer much in the way of nutrition. Good quality vitamins

can prevent a lot of expensive and time-consuming trips to the

doctor. Consider shopping at various discount stores and make

home-made cooking a top priority. Nothing has to be fancy.

Instead of buying ingredients for a recipe, just buy whatever is

on sale and then cook accordingly when you get home. If we need

fresh produce, for example, I come home with whatever fruit is

on sale for that week. This is a great way to keep more variety

in your kitchen too. For vacations, state and national parks are

a treasure to behold. If you bring your own food you've already

saved a bundle of money. Just pack the cooler(s) and you can

make great day trips or camp, or even rent a housekeeping cabin.

It's incredibly less expensive than motels and amusement parks.

And what could be more exciting than exploring 'God's

playground?' For other entertainment, don't forget the library.

Many libraries offer free concerts and other entertainment.

Also, local museums and zoos almost always offer a family

membership. This is usually a wonderful bargain for a family.

Make use of this and you won't fall prey to the lure of the

expensive entertainment industry, which is usually full of

negative messages that conflict with our Christian faith anyway.

Don't be afraid to accept hand-me-downs, shop at thrift shops or

garage sales for clothes or other items. There are some great

discount stores around too if you make it a point to scout them

out. I personally don't enjoy shopping because it is so

time-consuming. However, I make a point to shop during

low-traffic times and that makes a huge difference. It's the

flexibility factor that will prevent you from feeling rushed all

the time and missing out on bargains. LH: Many "Stay at home"

moms feel isolated and lonely. What proactive steps can they

take to help themselves overcome these feelings?

Satan loves Christians to become isolated. Then he can trap you

into thinking 'no one understands me,' etc. Don't even give him

a chance! REACH OUT! Whether you are new to a community or have

just been pulled out of a huge social circle in order to stay

home, you simply must find ways to be involved. For example, I

have hosted lady's Bible studies and support groups just by

listing an ad in our church bulletin. Sometimes only one mom has

called - but that was all I needed to make a new friend at the

time. Then it would grow. You can join a group like I started,

or find a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers,) La Leche League

(breastfeeding support group,) or volunteer for something at

church that may be just a few hours per month. Read your local

newspaper; look on the internet for local church or community

activities. Get involved in politics. You may be nervous at

first but reaching out is essential and will bring you many

blessings in new friendships. But remember that God and family

come first. We don't need to be supermoms and burn ourselves

out. But we definitely need to be supported by and supportive to

other moms and people in general. LH: What role has your

Christian faith played in your decisions to be home full time

and to homeschool your children?

.so that they (the older women) may train younger women to love

their husbands and children, to be sensible, chaste, busy at

home.Titus 2:3-5 (New American Bible)

I think the Lord says in His word that he prefers mothers to be

busy at home. Other versions of the Word say 'Keeper of the

home' or 'good homemakers.' The decision for me to stay home

came when my husband and I became engaged. He felt very strongly

that my role in the home was essential for a strong family to

take hold. He felt that God would bless us if we honored him by

this devotion to the mother's role. We both loved the prospect

of having a large family and I couldn't see the point of bearing

a child and giving birth only to leave the child entrusted to

someone else's care. It didn't make sense. The entire pregnancy

is a bonding experience for an important purpose. It is a

beautiful beginning to a lifelong relationship with your child.

Although we do not currently homeschool all of our children, I

do believe home schooling gives us the most generous opportunity

to fully instill our values into our children's hearts and

minds. Homeschooling was still a relatively new idea when we

started about 11 years ago. Dave had close friends he admired

who homeschooled their children. I thought it all sounded very

strange at first. Another family took our advice to home school

(even though we didn't do it yet!) and we were amazed at how

intimately peaceful and joyful their home had become since

starting.) Then we attended a large home school convention and

it was very evident that these hundreds of families were

bringing up their children to serve the Lord in a very

powerfully practical way. It is more than just an educational

movement. It is a way to bond with your children; to have the

time and flexibility to demonstrate the faith on a daily basis.

And for those naysayers who think the home is not 'real world',

I say, 'What is real within our families becomes real within our

world." Currently we have three high schoolers in the public

school system who are thriving with prayer clubs and

evangelizing when opportunity arises. We home school our four

middle children and two of them also attend a church preschool

three mornings a week for 3 hours a day. Our toddler is also

home full-time. LH: Congratulations of the publication of this,

your first book! What a tremendous accomplishment! Are you

currently working on any new writing or creative projects? Thank

you so much. It has been truly exciting to watch the Lord open

doors on what otherwise would seem impossible or just plain

ridiculous. I have felt called to write a book about special

needs families. We have not been blessed with a special needs

child, but I have a friend who is legally blind and the mother

of nine children. Her family includes two sets of twins, one

autistic child, one nearly deaf child, and four vision-impaired

children. The book will be about her and some other families

that share their experiences and faith-growth through their

special needs situations. LH: What resources can you recommend

for new moms? I highly recommend 'Family Foundations,' a

publication of the Couple to Couple League.

(http://www.ccli.org/) So many moms are told that the number one

priority after giving birth should be birth-control. I do

believe in child-spacing but so often mothers are discouraged

from having more than two children these days, the 'accepted

norm.' If we truly open our hearts to another child, we have

more reason to want to stay home because more souls are

depending on us. We also are being more open to our husband,

accepting both the potential for life and the pleasure of the

marriage act. This method of 'natural family planning'

automatically builds mutual respect and self-giving in the

marriage, which is so much-needed today.

Catholic Familyland (http://www.familyland.org/Home.htm)- an

awesome family vacation/retreat experience, an apostolate

devoted to teaching the true faith by way of books, tapes and

videos from top authorities such as Cardinal Arinze, Pope John

Paul II, Scott Hahn, Mother Teresa, etc. In addition, they have

their own TV network which is on a satellite with many other

Christian stations and costs only $11.99 per month. We love this

place. I can't say enough good about it. Focus on the Family

(www.family.org) is a wonderful resource for all sorts of

parenting tips. And don't forget the Bible. It's full of

proverbs and other parental advice for the finding. LH: Thank

you again Sandra for your time and for sharing your book. Are

there any closing thoughts you'd like to offer?

The revival doesn't begin only at church. It begins in the home.

Home is not an escape from the world. It's a foundation to build

the values of our faith. Then we must share that faith with the

world. One family at a time. Thank you, Lisa for this

opportunity to share from my heart to other moms. I pray the

book will be used as an instrument of hope and healing to every

family's mother that reads it. For more information or to order

Mommy Come Home visit

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1594675627/digitalcropper-20

Copyright 2004 Lisa M. Hendey

About the author:

Lisa M. Hendey is a mother of two sons, webmaster of numerous

web sites, (including http://www.digitalcropper.com

http://www.christincoloring.com, http://www.catholicmom.com) and

an avid reader.

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Mommy Come Home

Article : Mommy Come Home